The Move

A year ago I was waking up in St. George getting ready to drive the long drive north in my big moving truck with Jarrett and Shadow as my copilot. We had just left our home in Las Vegas the night before. So how do I feel now that I have been back in Utah for 1 year? I still miss our life in Vegas and Vegas itself. I find myself getting so mad at people and the perceptions on Las Vegas. If I am going to be honest moving back to Utah has been twice as hard as moving to Las Vegas. I have struggled a lot. I have thought about why that is? I don't have any answers except maybe we were so happy there, and I found out that I could live away from family and even though it was hard sometimes I did it and found a lot of enjoyment in my life. A lot of times here I feel overwhelmed with peoples expectations and wanting us to do everything. It has been hard to come back to that.  I live in a part of Logan that I will wave to my neighbors and ward members and they just stare at you? Is it really that hard to raise your hand for a little kind gesture. Now not everyone is like that, I have made some wonderful friends here. I have loved "girls night". I have questioned Heavenly Father's plan for us more than I care to admit. I have prayed more in this last year than I have before. I had to get out last night and I found myself in the temple parking lot eating dinner. I sat there for quite awhile contemplating and praying for comfort and understanding. For the millionth time this year I had that feeling of peace come over me. For reasons I don't know if I will ever understand we are where we are supposed to be. So sitting there last night I decided as I have many times it is up to me. I don't think we have to stay in this exact location but Cache Valley is it for now. I am going to do my best to be better and try harder. I am going to look for things in Logan that I love. First thing is family, it has been so good for my kids to be back around their family. Second, is fall!! I love fall and missed it in Vegas. I love the colors and the cool nights. Third, as hard as this is going to be I have to let Vegas go and live in the present and not wish for the past. I made awesome memories that I will treasure forever and so many wonderful friends that I will love forever. They touched my life and changed me and for that I am always grateful. I will always have an excuse to get out of Logan in the cold winter to head south and visit my bestest friends. One thing I know is that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are real and they love me. Some days I don't know why but they do. Life gets hard, but having the Gospel and my knowledge makes it doable. I wish everyone had that knowledge. Some days the Gospel seems to add to your already busy life but it is worth it. I know this post is a little drab and for that I am sorry. There have been good things since moving back. Our family is growing so fast but I am finding the older my kids are getting the more I am enjoying them. Ben and I are better than ever. So our family is great and I am glad my journey is with them.