Grateful

We are in full season of the holidays here at our house. I have done a lot of thinking this past month of just how blessed my life is. There are things that happen in every one's lives that make you wonder why. These past 2 weeks since Thanksgiving I have tried to look for the good in my day, instead of the negatives and hardships. I have found out a few things. I have 4 of the most amazing kids. I don't know why I was entrusted with these strong, special spirits, but they teach me every day and make me want to be a better person and mom. Looking at them they remind me of what I am working towards and that is eternal life with them and Ben. I may not have a degree, we may not have a lot of money, and I know I am far from the perfect mom, but having their love and being able to share their lives is the best and most important job I could have. It is not easy and in the process you loose who you thought you were, but at the end of the day when they come snuggle up with you or you walk in to climb into bed and your pillow is showered with love notes from them, you realize that they are what matters, and they are your life. 

Ever since I have become a parent and since I lost my Dad, I have come to appreciate all that my parents did for me growing up and everything that they still do. No my Dad isn't here anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't feel him in my life. I am thankful for things they taught me and for the people they were and are. 

I am thankful for the Gospel. It guides and directs me to the path that will bring me the most peace and happiness. I went to my relief society's Christmas program and as I was sitting there among these great ladies I had such a feeling of peace come over me. I know Ben and I are where we are meant to be. I love our new neighborhood and ward. We feel at home, something we haven't felt for over a year. I think of how close we came to not being able to move here and I see how things worked out for us and I know that Heavenly Father's hand was in our life guiding us and blessing us along this path. We have had things happen daily since moving here that to some people seem like not a big deal, but to us they have been huge. So very thankful for our new "home". 

I am thankful for the man I married. I look at what Ben and I have and I know that not everyone is blessed with what we have together. No, our marriage is not perfect, we have had some rough roads, but we have got through them together and we are better and stronger because of the trials. I am thankful for the type of person he is. He is not afraid of standing up for who he is. Ben is what you call a quiet giant. He doesn't have to say a lot for his words to impact and change your life. He has a lot of wisdom and strength. He is an amazing father to our children. You can see and feel the love he has for each one of them. He is always there helping them push for their dreams. 

I don't know what life has in store for us in the future. Nobody does. I hope that I can live my life to the fullest so that I will have no regrets. I am going to love my kids and Ben everyday and enjoy the time I have with them. I had a friend pass away a couple of months ago leaving behind her husband and three young kids and I have thought so many times how hard it would be to leave my family and it makes me want to be better and love more. I hope we all take time this Christmas season to see the good in our lives and to realize it's not the money, or the high paying job, or what gift we get this year that is important. It is our families and the love we share with them.